


A Love Like This

by Slut4Snafu



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gay baby sherlock, Johns POV, M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Reunion Fic, Sherlocks POV, Smut, Virgin Sherlock, john "not gay" watson, my writing sucks so read at your own risk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 16:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9393368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slut4Snafu/pseuds/Slut4Snafu
Summary: "I missed you like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies, maybe even more”





	1. 1

_ John POV _

_ “It had been 2 years, I’m honestly surprised I made it this long. I feel so empty, so lost. Life feels meaningless without him, almost feels like it isn’t even worth living.”  _

 

I type this in a private section of my blog, my therapist said it would be a good idea to write out how I feel but it makes me feel worse. Just sitting and thinking of what happened, what could've happened, what him and I could have been. I begin to type again “each day gets longer, each breath gets harder. The only thing keeping me from just ending it was him” I stopped typing, images flood my mind me and sherlock running the streets of London chasing our latest killer, adrenalin coursing through our veins, god Sherlock looked so beautiful when he was high on a case. 

 

I shut my laptop and laid down in his neatly made bed. I never knew why I stayed at Bakers Street; it just felt right. I tried to move out but this was the only thing tying me to Sherlock. _“Fuck”_ I  gritted out, I’m  hard. That actually seemed to happen more once Sherlock was gone. It should of felt wrong wanking to your dead best friend. As I began to palm himself images of Sherlock engulf my mind those high cheekbones, aquamarine eyes, and those extremely kissable cupid's bow lips. I was practically  moaning now my hand quickly tugging my cock wishing it was Sherlock's hand on me, holding him, touching him. When I come I moan Sherlock's name in a breathy whisper. I fell asleep with thoughts of Sherlock in my mind.

Getting up was probably the hardest part of My day. Trying to muster up the energy to go to the clinic. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I focus on my breathing. I finally get up, it takes all my energy just to take a shower. I make my way downstairs; I stop when he sees the back of a curly haired head in sherlock's seat. I scratch my head and says to myself “oh great I'm seeing him again”. I  stand in place for a second and I hear the figure speak 

 

_ “Hello John”. _

 

Confused for a moment because My hallucinations never spoke to me before, when the figure starts to get up I finally speak speaks “You're real aren’t you”. When I realized the figure was Sherlock I could hardly stand, luckily Sherlock wrapped his arms around me “Yes John, I’m real, I’m real.” I begin to cry as he speaks “God I was at your grave, I asked you, one more miracle Sherlock don’t be dead”. Still holding me the detective said in almost a whisper. “I heard John belive me, I heard. If I would of stayed you would of been killed. And if I had told you I wasn't dead I know I wouldn't of been able to stop myself from coming back.” I looked at sherlock and saw something new, he looked so vulnerable I could hardly stand it.

 

“Sherlock you leaving practically did kill me anyway. It destroyed me, do you even care; you come back here and expect it to be fine! You expect to go back to what we had. I can’t just go back to what we had, I can’t have you leave me again. I know you saved my life sherlock but you also killed me in the process.” I say voice slightly raised

Sherlock pulls away from me, Sherlock just now realizes how this took a toll on me.

 

_Sherlock POV_

I  see John's face drained of color, I can see John's lost weight, dark circles under his eyes. The reality sets in for me,  the reality that I hurt my friend so badly, my best friend, the only man who sees good in me I hurt. I look John in the eye now. John looks so lost; Jesus I really did kill John. “John” I say as I try to pull John in again missing his touch “John” I say again my voice much more shaky now. “John, you must know I never intended to hurt you, like I said if you knew I was alive do you really think I could of stayed away from you, seeing you in this pain alone. But I could've lost you and losing John Watson is not an option, after all I’d be lost without my blogger” I finish and flash John a sad smile. John in return pulls me back in and hugs me tightly. It just dawned on Me that we have  been standing in the kitchen hugging like idiots. “Are you going into the clinic today” I question. “Sherlock, I think we have some catching up to do” John replies with a laugh.

 

We finally sat down, in their chairs, inside Bakers St. together.  Just where we belong.

John kept asking me question after question. Finally John asked me a question he's been wanting to ask all night. “Did you miss me, Sherlock” I look John in the eyes, John expects me to say something to insult him but I  just say “oh John with every fibre of my being” I starts to pull up my sleeve to show John something, John sees fairly new track marks; can't be older than a few days. I takes off a ratty piece of yarn from my wrist. “This was from one of your jumpers, one you threw out of course, but before I went on that rooftop I had no idea what was in store for me so I wanted something that would remind me of you, that dirty old yarn was the only thing that got me through that, just the idea of coming back home to you John, I missed you  like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies, maybe even more”


	2. 2

_Sherlock POV_

It’s moments like this that I just wish I could pull John down and kiss him with every ounce of love I have for this man. I was pulled out of my thoughts by John softly sighing

“oh Sherlock”

John looked me in the eyes, I could see Johns pulse increase and his pupils dilate, if I didn't know any better I’d think the look that John was giving me was love.

_‘Oh god he couldn't fall for me, could he, nope John “not gay” Watson and all his bloody girlfriends he can't possibly feel this way’_

My thought was interrupted by John asking what's wrong, “ Sherlock are you okay you're shaking”. When I came back to himself I answered John “yes John, of course, of course,” I was clearly lying and John could tell. John sighed “ Sherlock, this doesn't mean I forgive you, frankly I don't know if I can, but I’ll always be here, you and I; against the world isn't that right” I looked at him and nodded, John seemed different almost more affectionate, he looks at me with a softer gaze that makes my insides light up.

Next to John on the couch, the doctor can't stop staring at me, whenever I catch him looking he looks away quickly. I feel my cheeks heat up as I blush, it feels odd, I’m warm all over. John moved his leg closer to the mine. “Oh god” I thought, I felt like he couldn't breathe. Sitting this close to John was hell, or was it heaven. I was too anxious to even tell anymore. I desperately tried to get some clarity on this situation, I deduced that John's pupils were dilated and his pulse was elevated just like before, interesting I thought. I thought John would have been angry or hostile but John seems happier, more loving, and for lack of a better word, softer. John tentatively touched my shoulder, his hand lingers at the nape of my neck, I still feel the warmth when he takes his hand away. I lets out a small moan simply at the surprise of John touching my sensitive neck. I couldn't stop thinking

_‘I've never craved human touch but John, I can't get enough of him, he's more powerful than any drug on earth to me, more addictive than any substance, any day without him is a painful withdrawal’_

Thoughts of all the nights I spent in his room alone touching myself and dreaming of Johns strong hands sliding up my body. _‘Fuck fuck fuck fuck''_ Thought as I realized my thoughts gave me an erection, and John was not even 2 feet away, John looks at me and smiles _“fuck that's hot”_ I thought. I tried to fight my erection but realized it was a lost cause and sneaked to the bathroom “um.. I gotta go to the umm..loo”.

John defiantly noticed my odd behavior. I scrambled to the loo hoping John didn't notice my hard-on. I marvel at the fact that I’m even hard. I haven't had an erection in almost a year. Leaning against the door I feel that familiar heat pool in my groin. ‘God’ I moan as I touch my sensitive prick. I imagines John, I imagine John’s strong shoulders, his piercing blue eyes, messy blonde hair that is longer than it was when he left him, his lips. At that last thought, I come hard muffling my moan with my fist. I try to compose myself when I hear John knock _‘fuck fuck was he there the whole time_ ’ I think.

“Sherlock are you okay” “Yes John, I’m fine, just fine’ he says from the other side of the door” I flushed the toilet to try to buy some time, I clean myself up and exit the loo, John gives me a funny look. I just ignore it and make my way to my chair, my face seems so hot right now; there’s no way John doesn't know what I was doing. Once I make my way back to my chair, John asks if I’m okay, I reply with a simple yes, he moves his leg close to mine and my heart starts racing. Next John puts his leg on my thigh, I can't breathe oh my, this is too much.

John looks me in the eye to ask if what he’s doing is okay, I barely nodded and ask “John why are you doing this, acting like you want me but pull away” My voice sounds strained “John I want you all of you, please let me have you, John please” John looks at me and starts speaking

“Sherlock I thought you didn’t want this I thought it was all just transport”

“Oh John it’s never been transport when it comes to you, you're everything to me”

Suddenly John cups my face with is small precise hands and kisses me, I’ve never kissed someone I cared about before, I feel sparks ignite from the kiss, I’ve never felt like this before. I noticed I wasn’t kissing back when John stopped. I start to move my mouth with Johns and feel his soft mouth on mine. “God Sherlock I missed you so much don’t ever leave me again Sherlock please, I was lost without you; all this time this is all I wanted just to hold you in my arms” I Sighed at Johns sweet words. John stroked my ebony curls, I especially have a sensitive head so John's attention on my hair felt amazing, I couldn't help the little ‘Ahs’ that escape my mouth John was fascinated by how sensitive I was. John slowly ducked down and took my mouth in his, this time sneaking his small pink tongue into my mouth, I felt the warm pleasure pool in my groin as he invaded my mouth. I moaned and had no idea where to put my hands< John could obviously tell this and he took his hands in mine and intertwined our fingers.


	3. 3

 

_ JOHN POV _

I stop kissing Sherlock’s delicious mouth so I can talk to him “Sherlock” I sigh. Sherlock in response tips his head back and calls for me “John, please” I gently kiss down Sherlock's neck. I can’t simply get enough of the little moans and mewls that he makes. When I make my way to his neck, when I reach his sternum I suck a bruise into his collarbone.

“Sherlock, is this okay”

 

“Yes, yes John please” how can I deny this man anything, I want to give him everything. As I focus on his chest he starts breathing faster “John, I’ve never-” he stops a moment to gather his thoughts “John I’ve never done anything like this, I’ve only kissed one person before John it's too much” Sherlock feels so vulnerable, I back away and start stroking Sherlock's sharp cheekbone, Sherlock shuts his eyes and his breathing slows. 

 

“John can I sleep with you tonight?  Nothing sexual I would just like to hold you tonight.”

 

I smile at Sherlock's idea “of course love, I would like that” I reply.

 

“Can we go now?” Sherlock asks shyly. “Sherlock it’s only 6pm”

“I know John, I’m just very tired” I sigh and follow Sherlock to his room. I strip my shirt and trousers, Sherlock does the same and we were both at opposite sides of the bed until Sherlock pulls me closer 

“I used to sleep in your room when I thought you were dead, smelling you all night made me feel like I was with you, after awhile your smell aired out and that's when I really knew you were gone”

 

I feel tears start at my eyes, I blink them away when Sherlock looks at me. “John” Sherlock begins to speak but I quickly interrupt. “Sherlock it’s fine you're here and that's all that matters, just go to sleep love, I’ll be here when you wake up” Sherlock scoots closer in  reply and lays his head on my chest, I wrap my arm around his back and hold him. For someone who pretends to be so cold Sherlock is surprisingly warm, I stay awake for a few more moments just to fully relish in the feeling of having a sleepy Sherlock cuddled close to me. Something that I thought I would never get to experience.

 

When I awoke I felt strange, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I looked over and saw Sherlock and my chest filled with warmth, I brushed his hair out of his face and he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me with a soft smile “You’re still here” He says voice raspy with sleep. “Sherlock I couldn’t of left if I tried.” I look at the clock and its 11pm “well I’m no longer tired” Sherlock added.

 

“Sherlock what are we” 

 

I ask this after we had been holding each other and sitting in silence for some time. “Well John, while I consider the term ‘boyfriends’ quite juvenile thats what I would consider you” I smile at how Sherlock that answer was. “Well if you don't like the term boyfriends, Is lovers more suitable” I add.

 

“That much better John.” Sherlock tried the word out a few times to get a feel for it

 

“Lovers” Sherlock says as he looks at John and takes his hand in mine. “Sherlock, not that I mind but your erection has been poking me in the back for the last half-hour” Sherlock's cheeks redden at my words. I pressed my lips to his neck and he releases a delicious moan. 

“John I’m sorry I’m just not ready yet”

 

“Oh Sherlock I don't care if you're never ready, If we never have sex we never have sex. That doesn't make me love you anymore or any less, okay love” I say this as I look him in the eyes “Yes, okay John” He replies.

 

_ SHERLOCK POV _

 

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way with anyone. John wraps his arms around my shirtless body. My mind goes blank besides one consistent thought 

 

**_John_ **

 

I could collect and catalogue data later but for night now i'm just reveling in the touch of john, his scent, how heat seems to radiate from his soft skin. I feel Johns lips at the back of my neck. He presses a shy kiss to the nape of my neck. John keeps his arm around my chest and tightens his hold. 

 

“Sherlock” John asks

 

“Yes John” I say flipping onto my back. He's staring at me with his ocean blue eyes that seem to look directly through me every time. 

 

He grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers together

 

“Sherlock I don’t expect you to say it back but I have to tell you this”

 

I could predict what John was about to say, but I was also anxious and scared. Once he says this there's no going back. After he says this I can't go back. Back to being alone, back to having nobody, back before John. I just can’t.

 

“Sherlock, I love you. I was going to say it before you jumped and then I didn’t. It ate at me everyday those three simple words. You don't have to say it back or even feel the same but I want you to know that okay love?”

 

I can barely speak so I just pulled John into a deep kiss.

 

“John how long have you felt like this”

 

“Oh Sherlock since the first day, that first day at barts when Mike introduced me to you. You looked so beautiful over that microscope, those cheekbones sharp enough to cut someone. Your kaleidoscope eyes, They are never one color did you know that Sherlock”

 

I shake my head in awe, mesmerized by John's words.

 

“Oh John” I say involuntary. “I love you too John. I’ve never loved someone like I love you it scares me, I don't know how and I just feel like I'm going to fuck it all up” it comes out more pathetic than I intended it to sound.

 

“Sherlock I love you so much you could try to kill me and I’d still be here” John says 

 

“John I could never do that”

 

“Sherlock love it was a joke, why don't we go out tonight like a real date, justme and you. Maybe go to angelo's. How does that sound love?” John says as he rubs my shoulder

 

“Okay John, I’d love that”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and the smut begins ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sherlock changes in front of me, I try not to look but I can’t help myself. I glance at his back and see open wounds crisscrossed all over his back. My heart drops at the sight. I walk towards him and lay my hand lightly on his shoulders as he jumps at my touch.

“Sherlock who did this to you?” I ask in a hushed tone. 

 

I move my hands to his sides and hold him from behind. I began to fear the silence we've been holding but Sherlock's low sob broke it.

 

“John” he pleads.

 

“Sherlock, love who did this to you?” I ask, I know he hears the anger in my voice.

 

“John just Moriarty's people in siberia. They wanted information and I was stubborn. Now please let's move off of it. It doesn't matter”

 

“Sherlock it will always matter to me, Just know that” I say, and immediately regret because it makes Sherlock's tears fall harder

 

SHERLOCK POV

 

When John raised his hand to my back I couldn't help the stream of tears that seemed to fall from my face. John directs me to the bathroom sits me down on the edge of the bath and goes to fetch his first aid kit. When he comes back he wipes a warm washcloth gently over the dried blood on my back. Once he wipes each slash he kisses the red skin around it. I miss this. I missed John caring for me; I missed it more than I would like to admit. Such a simple gesture makes my heart flutter

 

When John finishes cleaning my back he wraps my wounds. We Silently agreed that we would stay in tonight. We had been silent this whole time John cleaned me up. John speaks first and is words melt my soul. 

 

“Sherlock you are so beautiful to me you know that right” He kisses me and lays me down on the sofa.

 

“So, so beautiful” John coos in my ear as he softly presses kisses into my neck.

 

“John you have no reason to patronize me so stop” I say, sounding meaner than intended.

 

“Sherlock I’d never patronize you, I feel all of these things I say about you. I’ve wanted to tell you these things for years. I love you and I love your scars Sherlock. Never ever forget that my love”

I practically whimper at John's words. I keep my mouth shut to avoid anything I might regret coming out of my mouth. I never imagined that John would ever feel the same as I do, let alone sit here and take care of me when I’m in this state. We curl up on the sofa together, my head pressed to John's chest. His hands stroking my bare back as he pays attention to the dressed wounds. We end up falling asleep again in each other's arms, this time on the sofa.

 

__________________________

 

The next time I wake up It’s light outside. Sherlocks long limbs wrapped around me, I start kissing his neck softly until I see him begin to stir. 

 

“John” Sherlock sighs, I turn to my side to get a good look at Sherlock. He’s so soft in the morning all the sharp planes of his body softened; his wit dulled by slumber. He rolls on top of me kisses me and lays his curly head on my chest. 

 

“John” he says again. I run my palms down the sides of his body and he softly moans. I would be concerned at Sherlock’s silence but Sherlock’s shy moans were enough for me to know this was okay. I put my hands in Sherlock's hair and he starts involuntarily grinding his hips in little circles against me. This was enough to make my half hard cock fully erect. 

 

“Sherlock love you need to tell me if this okay” 

 

“John, John yes please. I need this. More than you can ever know”

 

I wanted to tell Sherlock I needed him too. I needed to touch him, love him, take care of him. I needed it more than air. I put my hands on the base of Sherlock's neck and kiss him  hard. Letting all the years of pent up passion escape in one kiss. 

 

“John touch me” he pleads

 

My heart skips a beat at his words, I'm already touching him but not where he needs. 

“John I have no idea what i'm doing so please John bare with me” he whispers

 

“Oh Sherlock” I say as I kiss him passionately “Sherlock I will go as slow as you need, If you need me to stop you need to tell me is perfectly fine. Also Sherlock our first time is not going to be on the couch, come” I say as I grab Sherlock's hand and lead him to his bedroom. When we make it in Sherlock pushes me against the door and kisses me hard.

 

“You like it when I take control don't you John” Sherlock's deep baritone voice rumbles in his chest, my knees get weak at his words.

  
“Oi, no deducing during sex okay” I say with a chuckle. 


End file.
